Just when I thought all the wedding drama was over, ha! Its just beginning. The future DH's sister (who is a bridesmaid in the wedding because she is 'supposed to be') is the same age as me but just graduated from her undergrad about a month ago; well, I haven't asked her to do much at all for the wedding...well, now that I think about it, I haven't asked her to do anything. Any who, we had my bridal shower about 3 weeks ago and everyone was there...except her. She showed up an hour and a half late (without a reason) and then left early without asking the other bridesmaids if they needed any help cleaning up or anything. I was really upset and so were the other 4 bridesmaids that she didn't do anything and nor did she offer. I stuck up for her saying no one asked her to help so she didn't know she should have at least offered. Then tonight, I went to the DH's parent's house to put together the favors and I asked her to help since she was there. Well, she laughed and said "no, I have better things to do"; i.e. she was going to wing night at the bar near her house which started at 9 and I asked her at 7. I was so stunned, I just stood there with my mouth open and then walked away because I was about to say something mean.
I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place; I don't want her in the bridal party anymore but if I do that, the DH's parents would be really mad at me. I ask her to do something so simple, it took his mom and I less than 45 minutes to do it. Yet, she laughed it off and made it clear it wasn't important to her at all. I want so badly to ask her to at least not sit at the head table with us; I can not believe how rude she was and how she hasn't helped at all. Its one thing to not do anything or not offer; some people don't know any better. But to blatantly laugh at someone when they ask you to help is unheard of!
Please let me know if people think I am over reacting; I don't know if I am blowing this out of proportion but I feel like this is a bit warranted. I ask for 30 minutes of her time and she laughs at me. I am so hurt and frustrated and upset. The DH said just to brush it off because "that's just the way she is". I find that hard to believe; are people really that callous and rude?
Ugh, I am so tired of drama; is it June 18 yet?????
xxAmy
Wow that is just awful. I can't believe that was actually her response to you. My guess is that she is monstrously immature. It is such a touchy situation because you don't want to start any kind of fight during a time that you are supposed to be enjoying and excited about. Can the DH talk to her? Find out why she is so standoff-ish? Maybe he can give her some gentle reminders that being asked to be a bridesmaid is an honor or maybe he can bully some sense into her.
ReplyDeleteIn any case I wish you the best of luck with your preparations. I hope that everything goes smoothly and that regardless of what happens you can enjoy your preparations and most importantly the BIG day!
Sugar, you are going to be miserable if you don't nip this in the bud. Perhaps you should get her alone and see if she really wants to be a bridesmaid. Explain what your expectations are. Maybe it's parental pressure that made her accept, who knows. But it's better to be gracious and find an alternative than be miserable for the next 2 weeks. I realize she has her dress and an usher but these things aren't written in stone. Find another job that makes her more comfortable...maybe greeting guests or managing the guest book? If that doesn't solve the problem speak to your future mother in law...she has a lot of experience with this girl, right? ;) I'm sure it will all work out just don't let it fester, kay.
ReplyDeleteWell, after talking to DH about how upset I was, he called her and said I was really hurt by her response, which she said she thought I was kidding (which I find hard to believe, but I am trying to be the bigger person) so he asked her to print up our wedding invitations instead; that way she contributes something I was originally going to do but since I am finishing up my classes, its nice she will take care of it.
ReplyDeleteAs you both said, its not worth putting a rift between myself and the DH's family so close to the wedding. So, hopefully she does this task and everyone will be happy one the big day; including me!
Thanks for the tips and you were right, its not worth getting in a tizzy over! I need to enjoy the days ahead and most importantly, the big day!!
xx Amy
*wedding programs! I keep calling them invites!
ReplyDelete